Mother's Day: The Mother-Daughter Bond

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Sharon Nicolary

 I remember my favorite mother-daughter moment when I was little. My mother took me to see the movie Grease. I was so excited, I could hardly wait. I was nine years old and my mother was forty-four, yet we were like a couple of three-year-olds on Christmas morning. We both loved the movie, as much as we loved Swiss cheese and ham roll-ups. She told me all about her high school days, just like what I was watching on the big screen. Olivia Newton John was our favorite and her song, "I Honestly Love You," was the best thing we thought we had ever heard.  

 But with mothers and daughters, there is always so much drama. Mothers and daughters don’t see eye-to-eye on so many things, yet they need each other so much. So how is that bond so incredibly strong? 

 My dad will tell you that throughout my teenage years, he could always hear it coming: the rumble of the teenage daughter and her mother. As soon as he heard it, he would retreat to his basement, put the headphones on, and hang out with our dog, Marcy. He always tells me that he and the dog would look at each other and think, “Here they go again.” The storm would soon subside, my father knew, and my mother and I would be crying and saying how much we loved each other. And when the war was over, somehow, we were closer. 

 Nobody really knows how it works, but it does. And as a woman grows older and especially if she becomes a mother herself, she realizes how hard her mother’s job really is. 

 It is your mother you go to about everything. She’s the one you want to wrap your arms around and cry with until you have nothing left. She’s the one you know you can be exactly who you are at any moment, and she’ll love you anyway. 

 She’s the one you tell about your first crush because you trust her more than anyone. And she’s the one you cry to when he dumps you for the prettier girl. She’s the one that tells you that pretty girl will never be as beautiful as you are, inside and out. And she’s not just saying that. She believes it with her whole heart and soul. 

 My mother, Shirley Bonner, grew up in Hamilton and now lives in Perry Hall. She stayed home to raise the four of us and when I was old enough, she went to work for a doctor part-time, a job she loved.  Now retired, she has seven grandchildren to keep her busy. And she makes sure she is there for them at every major event of their lives. She hosts all the kids’ birthday parties and spends a lot of energy and time preparing for them. She tries to make it to every game, play, or ceremony for her grandchildren, even if she is not feeling well. She wants them to know just how proud she is of them.

 When we come to visit, my three children love spending the night at Grandma and Pop-Pop’s. They like to play tricks on my mother, just to see her reaction and then they laugh together. At bedtime, she always reads them a story or listens to them read her a story. My mother even helps my children with their schoolwork a couple of times a week, over the phone. She spends time with each of them studying for spelling, math, science, or religion. 

 Mom was always there for all of us, and still is. I cannot remember a single moment in my entire life when I needed her, that she wasn’t just right there. Even though I am older now and have kids of my own, my mother and I still talk almost every day.

 So why is this bond so strong? My mother once wrote something to me in a letter that explains just that. She wrote, “Always tell Mom exactly how you are feeling, so I can feel with you.” I always did and I always will, Mom. So thank you for telling me I could.  And I honestly love you.

 Happy Mother’s Day to all of you wonderful mothers from your devoted daughters!