Turn ‘my’ retirement into ‘our’ retirement

By: Helen Oxenberg

Dear Solutions: Since I retired, my wife keeps making appointments for us to go places and do things constantly. I told her that I worked very hard, and now I just want to stay home and listen to my music, read, relax and do nothing. So now, she doesn’t say anything during the day but just goes out all day. The problem is that as soon as we get into bed at night she starts... READ MORE

Address daughter-in-law issues directly

By: Helen Oxenberg

Dear Solutions: My daughter-in-law came to stay at my house for a few days while she had a job close to where I live but far from where she lives. Without going into details, she just ignored certain ways I do things in my home, and acted as if I could be ignored. I asked her to go to dinner with me, and it was arranged —until her friend called, and then she just broke our... READ MORE

Facing violence and guilt in relationships

By: Helen Oxenberg

Dear Solutions: I’m very concerned about my granddaughter, who is considering marrying her boyfriend. She is confiding in me and asked me, “Can someone love you and still hit you at the same time?” She says she knows her boyfriend loves her and wants to marry her, but when he gets very angry he lashes out at her physically. They’re making wedding plans, but she says that... READ MORE

Lazy, weak men and clueless strangers

By: Helen Oxenberg, MSW, ACSW

Dear Solutions: My husband, who retired recently, is making me more and more angry. Every time I ask him to help with household chores, he refuses and thinks he’s funny when he says he can’t exert himself because he’s protecting me. He says he’s saving me from becoming a widow. I work part time, but because I’m home a lot, he thinks I can do everything myself. I’ve... READ MORE