At a speed dating event held by Pre-Dating Speed Dating, couples spend a few minutes getting to know each other and then move on. Many singles over 50 say they enjoy the experience even if they don’t make a love connection. Photo courtesy of Pre-Dating Speed Dating

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If you keep telling yourself, “I’ve got to put myself out there if I’m going to meet someone,” speed dating may be for you.

This unique dating format offers the chance to meet multiple singles in your age range in a single evening.

Each event is held at a different bar, hotel or restaurant, typically in a private area. A host welcomes everyone and gives them a nametag — and some encouragement.

Often the women stay seated at tables, while the men rotate from one table to the next, allowing people to meet as many as 16 prospects in six-minute mini-dates. When six minutes are up, the host rings a bell, and half the guests change seats to meet someone new.

People who have tried speed dating tend to enjoy it, even if they don’t meet the love of their life.

“It was kind of fun — it was definitely exciting. It gave me that school-dance-butterflies feeling,” said Linda R. (last name withheld for privacy), a 56-year-old D.C. resident whose husband passed away in 2007.

At the end of each mini-date, participants indicate whether they would like to share their contact information with the person they have just met. If it’s mutual, the organizers then connect them: Within 24 hours, participants receive an email with the contact information of the people they liked. They can take it from there.

“One of the nice things about speed dating is, people are polite, respectful, nice to each other, so even if there isn’t a match, it’s a chance to just meet new people — as opposed to online, where people ghost you,” said 61-year-old Mark Gianturco, who has been to two events in Northern Virginia.

Hope after divorce

For many older adults, a return to the dating world often comes after another relationship ends.

Gianturco divorced three years ago after 33 years of marriage. His three adult daughters are rooting for him to find a partner for the next chapter of his life, he said.

“I plan on finding a partner and hopefully having a lifelong relationship,” Gianturco said, but it has so far been difficult to meet people.

“It’s not the paradigm anymore that you go shopping and meet the love of [your] life. I’m sure it happens, but the social dynamics are different…I hope I find my person.”

While he hasn’t yet found the woman of his dreams, Gianturco still considers his speed dating experiences a success. After all, he put himself out there, along with everyone else who attended. Doing so, he believes, has brought him one step closer to meeting his match.

Authentic interactions

While many might find the idea of speed dating daunting, others are ready to try it, especially those who have been disappointed in their attempts to meet someone through friends, shared interest groups, or dating apps such as SilverSingles and SeniorMatch.

Gianturco prefers speed dating to dating apps because he says meeting someone in person provides nuance that is lacking in online dating. During short, face-to-face encounters, he said, “You’ve exchanged much more information than you would with endless days of texting, and the information you exchange is richer.”

There is another advantage to this in-person dating approach: authenticity. Gianturco has encountered a few women who misrepresented themselves online, including those who used photos that were not their own. Of course, that can’t happen in person.

Good way to make friends

Like Gianturco, Linda R. tried dating apps, but she too was disenchanted with texting someone for a month before they ever met in person, if at all.

She heard about speed dating from a friend, who invited her to go with her to an event in D.C. Although her friend got cold feet and cancelled as Linda was on her way, Linda forged ahead and liked it so much that she has since attended another event.

“I met a lot of nice guys that I would definitely be friends with and would consider dating,” Linda said.

“I ended up going out on further dates with two of them…one of them for four months. We remained friends, and I see him every once in a while.”

Though neither was a lasting match, the experience left her optimistic about speed dating. In fact, one of her friends is still dating someone she met at speed dating last winter, and another met her husband speed dating in the early 2000s.

Local matchmakers

Speed dating originated in Los Angeles in 1998 at a matchmaking event organized by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, according to The New York Times. He and several friends developed the idea while brainstorming ways to serve the Jewish community and help singles find marriage partners. It caught on.

One company, Pre-Dating Speed Dating, founded in 2001, hosts many events in the DMV, including speed dating for those 50 and older.

Two sessions for singles ages 40 to 59 were held at the Dulles Marriott Suites in Herndon, Virginia. Executive Chef Jorge Arica welcomes these groups, as they attract new diners. He described the scene as a friendly environment with a “nice group of people” attending.

Stephanie Robinson, 59, is a DMV Pre-Dating event host who helps set the tone for speed dating events.

She discovered the phenomenon because she herself hadn’t had luck with online dating. Several years ago, she attended a speed dating event, noticed what the host did and thought it would be a great job for her. Although she didn’t meet her match, she landed on a new career and has been hosting since 2023.

“My motto is, if I can contribute to someone’s happiness, I’m happy,” she said.

Robinson said participants often confide in her that they are nervous. She tells them, “I have been where you are, but once the event starts, the nervousness will go away.”

At the end of the event, those previously anxious daters tell Robinson she was right; their jitters disappeared. “I do my best to make them feel comfortable,” she said.

It seems she is good at it. When Linda attended her first event, Robinson’s warm greeting and confident hosting helped set her at ease — and made her want to attend another in-person event, she said.

“People spend too much time socializing online,” Linda said. “I love that we got dressed up, we met in person, we put our phones away.”

How to dive in

Several speed dating companies are active in our area in addition to Pre-Dating Speed Dating, including Shuffle Dating, CitySwoon and others, but they don’t tailor events specifically for the over-50 crowd. An evening typically costs between $20
and $40.

For those who are curious about trying speed dating but feel apprehensive, consider inviting another single friend to join you. Even if they cancel on you at the last minute, you can go on your own, like Linda, while reminding yourself that you’re not the only one to feel a bit of nerves before putting yourself out there.

Pre-Dating Speed Dating hosts monthly events in the DMV and Baltimore. For more information or to sign up, visit pre-dating.com or call (561) 510-0733.