A life forged by fire and friends
To look at Margo Arnold now — as an active, fit 73-year-old who recently returned from an African safari and has three tandem skydiving jumps under her belt — you might assume she has led an adventurous life.
You wouldn’t be wrong. But not all of her adventures have been such positive ones. In fact, much of her youth was marked by hardship and tragedy.
For many years, Arnold struggled with alcohol and substance abuse. When she was growing up, members of her family dealt with their emotions and anger physically, by slamming doors and throwing things.
Worse, they would drown their sorrows. “In my family, the bottle came first,” she said matter of factly in recent remarks to a 12-step group.
Her first memory of being drunk was at age 16, when she began a pattern of partying, drinking and abusing drugs. She recalled one wild evening, when she stood on a car roof and broke a boy’s bedroom window with her elbows.
“It was natural behavior to me. This is what we did,” she sighed. Alcohol had become her solution for dealing with her problems.
At age 21, Arnold was pregnant. “I felt I had to marry” the child’s father, she said. Within four years, the marriage dissolved and she turned, naturally, to alcohol to “deal with the breakup.”
As if this wasn’t enough, when she was 26, an accident changed Arnold’s life forever. At a beachside dinner party with friends, the material of her dress caught fire from a tabletop chafing dish.
She suffered severe burns over half of her body, and spent the next five years undergoing multiple reconstructive surgeries.
Reinventing herself
At first, her addiction worsened. But during those years Arnold was trying to heal, she also started to think about life and reconsider her path.
Before the accident, Arnold had followed in her father’s footsteps as a salesperson. Working in outside sales kept her out and about, traveling to clients all day. Her family and friends assumed she would return to that career following her recovery.
But Arnold knew she had a choice between playing to her strengths and pursuing her passions. She was skilled in the business world, but longed to have a career in art.
So she enrolled in a four-year degree program in commercial art (now called graphic design), surprising all who knew her.
Then some of her friends surprised her in turn, asking her not to take a drink or drug for the next 90 days. One of them suggested she go to a meeting of a 12-step program.
Feeling that her personal “life was in shambles,” she decided to give it a try. “I had no idea I had a substance [abuse] problem that day,” she now says.
“It felt like a life line had been thrown to me when I went to my first meeting.” Still, while on some level she wanted to take control of her life, “I had a very bad attitude” at first, she admitted.
“Eventually, I got serious about the program and worked the steps.” In December, Arnold celebrated her 36th year sober. “Today, I live and breathe the program,” she said.
A support group for artists
After graduating with her art degree, Arnold began creating and selling her art, which features bold colors and brushstrokes. In 1990, Arnold started her own graphic design company, which she headed for nine years.
During those years, she fell in love and married her husband Douglas, a historian working for the federal government. They moved from Connecticut to Washington, D.C. to accommodate his job. “It was a big adjustment,” she said, as she had lived in Connecticut for 30 years.
In Washington, Arnold discovered that many aspiring artists like herself were struggling. She had been selling her own work and was familiar with the problems that many artists face. Even the most talented can find it difficult to make a living out of their passion.
Arnold had the idea of applying some 12-step principles to the problem. So, with some of her artist friends, she formed an artists’ support group in 1992.
The group was initially formed to enable artists to share “tips and tricks” with each other, but it grew to become a practical platform for artists to gain exposure.
Members used their mutual connections and teamwork to exhibit their work through annual shows. They raised the funds, rented the exhibition space, and charged a small entrance fee. The artists came to recognize the value of the exposure, instead of looking for profit alone.
“We operated out of my apartment. There was no overhead,” she said. “We worked on a part-time, volunteer basis and only raised money for our expenses, like our newsletter, mailings and exhibitions. I didn’t get a salary.”
The group’s idea spread beyond the United States, and chapters with a similar structure followed in Australia and Denmark.
For many years, Arnold served as executive director of the International Artists’ Support Group (IASG), and then on its advisory board.
Even while pursuing success as an artist, Arnold began to return to her sales roots, taking a position at the age of 64 as an outside sales representative for a local Sir Speedy printing franchise.
“For a long time, my heart was with art. I didn’t want to admit that [sales] is where my skills lay,” she confessed.
For a while, she juggled her job responsibilities with her role at IASG. Eventually she found it too much of a commitment to remain in both, and left the artists’ group.
At Sir Speedy, Arnold was hired to help the new owner expand his client base. Outside sales involves a lot of travel, and Arnold found herself more active than ever. “I ran all over the District, taking the Metro or the bus. I met the clients and got the printing jobs.
“Sure I got tired,” she said, “but it was invigorating.”
By her retirement at age 71, Arnold had gained Sir Speedy more than 500 clients, notably Georgetown Hospital, George Washington University Hospital and the Embassy of Australia.
Staying active in retirement
After “chasing jobs for the last 50 years,” Arnold found retiring to be a complete change of pace. “I lived at the pool my first summer,” she joked.
Since then, Arnold has remained busy and physically active, working with a personal trainer to stay healthy.
After seeing a picture of a client on a tandem skydive (in which you are tethered to an instructor during the dive), Arnold was inspired to try it herself.
“I loved it the first time,” she said. Despite loving it less and less on her second and third dives, she has no regrets. She admitted feeling frightened the second time, and did the third one to prove she’d conquered her fear. “I wouldn’t go again, though,” she laughed.
Arnold has also stayed busy volunteering, which mainly consists of event planning. Over the holidays, she organized and ran a sing-along for the Washington, D.C. branch of the English Speaking Union, a nonprofit aimed at scholarship and success through the use of the English language. They frequently sponsor cultural and educational programs for their students and teachers.
She has also continued her relationship with the initial 12-step program she attended in Connecticut that helped her all those years ago. She sponsors several members of the group, staying in touch via Skype — the free online service that allows video chat and messaging.
Arnold’s husband shares her love of adventure and travel. They recently returned from a South African safari, where they explored Cape Town and Robben Island. The couple enjoyed the warm sun, a welcome break from this year’s unusually cold winter.
They also stay in shape by ballroom dancing. “We don’t dance competitively,” she said. “We just do it for the fun of it.”
Arnold credits the fire all those years ago as an inspiration to stay active and value the help and support of others. “I gained the ability to ask for help. I had a team of people taking care of me,” she noted.
Today, Arnold continues to rely on many people to help her stay active and connected. Along with her support group, she works with a dietician, her trainer and a spiritual advisor. “My project now is me,” she said.
“As long as I take care of my body and can physically do things, the world is open to me.”