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Brunch for the two couples was done. It was time to settle the bill.

The male of the other couple plopped down a credit card. This male reached for his wallet and produced a wad of cash.

I handed it to him. He treated it like a rare species of poisonous mushroom.

“What am I going to do with it?” he asked.

“Uh, spend it?” I replied.

He gave me a look somewhere between amazement and stomach upset. So it goes when you’re an old guy and you greatly dislike plastic.

This is definitely an age-related attitude. Anybody who’s younger than I am — heck, everybody who’s younger than I am — treats a credit card as if it’s an advanced form of civilization.

Oh, hey, you get airline miles, they chirp. Oh, hey, you get one neat statement at the end of each month. Oh, hey, you don’t have to worry about misplacing your cash or getting relieved of your money by a robber.

Cash, they say, is so yesterday.

But so am I, and I’m not about to bend. At brunch, I didn’t rehearse the many reasons why I prefer actual money. But you, dear reader, are not going to be so lucky.

Reason One: Not every credit card transaction is seamless (although cash always is).

About 15 years ago, in New Orleans, I treated our son and several of his pals to dinner. The tab was something like $350. I paid with a credit card.

The next morning, I was waiting to board a 6 a.m. flight when my phone rang. It was my dearly beloved.

No “Good morning.” No “I love you.”

“OK, buster, what have you done this time?” she began.

Seems that the credit card company wasn’t sure that my $350 charge was legitimate. So, they called our home number — at 5:30 in the morning! — to see if our card might have been stolen.

May I point out gently that there would have been no such phone call — and no furious, awakened spouse — if I had paid with cash?

Reason Two: It’s really easy for a thief to copy down, or skim, any credit card number.

Yes, I know that no credit card holder is liable for more than $50 of illegal charges. But I also know that if a criminal misuses one’s credit card, the company reacts in only one way. It cancels the card and issues you a new one.

But that new card often doesn’t arrive for a week or more. If you’re an anti-casher, this will cause big delays and big headaches. You’ll need to re-enroll in all your automatic payments and you’ll run the risk of late fees.

May I point out gently that there’s no such aggravation if you pay with cash?

Reason Three: the annual enrollment fee.

If you’re lucky, it will be only $99. That’s “only” uttered with a grimace and a strangled voice. Where I come from, 99 bucks is real money.

Reason Four: Security that isn’t so secure.

If you read the fine print, you will discover that your credit card isn’t activated until and unless you sign it on the back. That’s supposed to be an added layer of protection for all concerned.

But no clerk ever looks to be sure that you’ve signed. Therefore, if you forget or fail to sign your card, you are setting the table for a major fraud spree if the card is stolen.

Please don’t tell me that this is a victimless crime. How do you think the defrauded business makes up its loss? By raising its prices, of course, which nips you, me and everyone else.

I could go on about the social cachet of certain credit cards (“Oh, how cool, your credit card has endangered baby pandas on the front of it!”). I could mention that addicted shoppers threaten their credit ratings every second via credit card binges.

I could even tell you about a friend who applies for any card whose background is silver. Why? Because she likes silver. She has 24 of them. Go figure.

In the meantime, my concession to the modern world of commerce is to visit an ATM about twice a month. Click, bip, boom, and I have all the cash I need.

As I shove it into my wallet, you’ll forgive me if I allow myself a slightly smug smile. I have once again proven that not everything modern is necessarily better.

Bob Levey is a national award-winning columnist.