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Q: I’ve lived alone since August 2018 after a 30-year marriage. I’ve been actively seeking a partner since Covid and have been off and on the dating sites. I live in a very conservative farming area, and the men I found interesting were in the Philadelphia and NYC areas. I sent out dozens of short messages. They ignored me.

I’m financially independent, own my own home, and am physically and politically active. I sing in two choirs. I go to classical as well as rock ‘n’ roll concerts by myself. I go out to eat by myself. I go to Europe by myself.

I have now been celibate for more than three years, and the thought of spending the rest of my life alone really upsets me. I am not ready to give up, but it has been extremely challenging to try to find a partner who can keep up with me. I am out all the time, always hoping that I’ll run into a lovely man who will look at me and say, ‘Wow, I want to get to know her.’ But so far, it hasn’t happened. I feel almost like I have a biological clock, much like a woman who by age 40 is panicking she’ll never have children. At almost 72, I am panicking that I may never have another partner to love.

—Lynn, Pennsylvania

A: Your email reflects an anxiety, even despair, many of us may be feeling. Despite our best efforts, we’re striking out in the love department. If it’s any consolation, you’re not alone.

“I’m only 51, but I completely understand the panicking feeling,” AH, in Alaska, told me. “I’ve spent the majority of the last 20 years as a single parent. Now my child is a grown-up. I strongly want to have a partner, actually a husband, to share and do life with. My desire is so strong, and dating has been so hard. No matter how many pedicures, massages, fancy meals, exercise classes, solo trips and meditations I’ve done, these sad and lonely feelings are here right inside me.”

One thing that eventually calms AH is to take “three deep breaths and really feel what I’m feeling. I cry and ask the divine being to help me through. I tell myself that the person who is looking for me is also feeling it, and he is looking forward to meeting me just around the corner.”

Another follower of my “Dating While Gray” podcast, Amy, told me this: “During Covid, after decades of living as a contented divorcee who dated off and on, I decided I would like to have a partner to age with. I bought a piece of cardboard and made three columns: love/life/relationships. I focused on describing what I would want in a future relationship by listing the attributes I found most endearing in men in my life. In July 2021, I met the man I am still dating and with whom I hope to grow old. I believe it’s never too late to chase your vision.”

Manifest destiny! Also, if you’re not already doing so, Lynn, initiate conversations with strangers. They need not be potential love matches, but they may help you feel less lonely. Plus, you never know who might know someone who knows someone.

Longtime “Dating While Gray” listener John, 76, recommends attending protests. “People of all ages turn out, there are lots of funny signs, and people are open and friendly. As an added bonus, you don’t have to try to figure out if someone is politically compatible,” he writes.

John’s been where you are. He had been on and off the dating sites since his divorce in 2013 with “no success finding someone I want to spend the rest of my life with,” he writes. Then, in late 2022, John connected with a widow, and they met for coffee. “She then sent me a text saying she didn’t want to pursue [a relationship] any further. I didn’t object or ask her why.”

Months later, John sent her a text to thank her for recommending an estate attorney. “She responded by inviting me to her house to catch up over a glass of wine,” John says — and they began dating. By giving space and grace, they’ve spent almost three years now being “completely in love,” he says. “I couldn’t be happier.”

Laura Stassi is creator and host of the podcast “Dating While Gray: The Grown-Up’s Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships” and author of Romance Redux: Finding Love in Your Later Years. Send your questions about new love after 50 to laura@datingwhilegray.com.